A Fun Assignment…

I have to write a half page using 1 syllable words and short sentences to describe something memorable. Here is what I've got...

"Will you marry me?" she asked. Yes. Of course! Why would I not? I love you. So much. We should marry in June. Warm, but not hot. I will ask the ones I love to be there. So will you. So happy! Beth will stand up with me. So will A and Trish. Joe and Jaim will be with you. Plans to make. It will be just right. I am yours now. But, wait and I will be yours ever more. We will have a grand life. Just the two of us. The ring fits just right. You are a part of me now. Just us. We shall share all we have. Yours is mine, mine is yours. A life as one.

Bring On The Balloons...

I've just finished devouring my 3rd piece of leftover pizza and I'm sucking Diet Coke out of the 2 ltr. bottle.  I'm slamming things around and beating at the keyboard with my fingertips while tears stream down my face.  This is not my proudest moment. 

Before D left for work, I said some pretty shitty things and was promptly told that I had an ugly attitude.  The longer I sit here and think about it...the more I agree with her.  Now, dear reader, this is not an "all-the-time" thing.  I don't go around saying nasty things...but when I'm in a foul mood (for whatever reason) I've been known to pop off at the mouth with some mean shit. 

I have to ask, though, am I the ONLY one who does this?!?  Surely not.  Everyone probably has an ugly side that they let out on occasion, right??  Right?!? 

Anyway...I now have two choices.  I can follow along in the same vein and be nasty and mean and ugly all day.  Or, I can recognize this for what it is...and move along; refusing to allow it to color my day. 

*Sigh*  I don't feel ready to make that choice.  I feel like I need some more time to be whatever it is that I'm being, just on a smaller scale.  So, I'm choosing Option C.  I'm going to eat a lil chocolate while crying the rest of this ugliness out.  Take a shower.  Put on my best face, and go do a couple errands. 

So now, gentle reader, if you'll excuse me I need to go throw myself a pity party.

Blathering...

I look out of my office window and all I see is white.  There is a soft blanket covering the city and causing everyone to slow down a little.  The trees are quiet.  Sleeping giants who await the Spring.  Branches covered with ice and snow, their roots dormant beneath the frozen ground. 

The holidays are fast approaching...we're down to 4 days 'til Christmas and 9 days 'til my 31st birthday.  (yes, I count my birthday as a national holiday)  All the shopping is done (except for a red knit hat that my dad wants...).  Next comes the wrapping.  Ugh.  That is D's forte...not mine.  When I wrap a square box it ends up looking like a large blob of paper and tape.  It's a little embarrassing. 

I went shopping with Maxine today...I had $0 yet I managed to spend $67...?  I love credit cards.  Anyway, I bought a great new outfit for my birthday.  I'm spending the day with my sister and then probably going out to dinner with D.  I'm pretty excited about hanging with my sister.  She's a cool kitten.  She's planning the whole day...lunch, shopping, and a movie.  Hooray!

I'd say it's just about time for a nap.  Well, maybe I'll eat an orange first...but a nap is definitely in the near future. 

Viva L'italia...

ItaIian. Io amo la lingua. Amo il cibo. E, un giorno farò visita. Il mio sogno è di vivere in Italia. Anche se è solo per un breve periodo di tempo. Voglio visitare il centro di Roma, voglio visitare le chiese, ho voglia di mangiare gelato da un venditore ambulante. Forse un giorno avrò la possibilità. Ma, per ora, io sogno.

Vacay...

As of about an hour ago, I am finished with the semester.  All the finals have been taken, all the papers written and submitted.  Nothing left to do but enjoy the next 25 days off.  Ahhh...

Not Even A Mouse...

Ahhh...Christmas.  It is nearly upon us and that warm, fuzzy feeling that you get around this time of year is in full swing.  Christmas music on the radio...pictures with Santa.  A beautiful tree with half the lights not working.  Snow on the ground and more in the forecast.  Frantic shoppers descending upon the mall in droves.  Hot coffee in my giant "Meow-y Christmas" mug.  Who could ask for anything else? 

The house is quiet.  D's still in bed and I'm watching the cars creep down the snow-covered streets.  The apartment is chilly and I'm fantasizing about crawling back into bed...even though I know I'm not going to.  I've got two classes tonight, an online final on the 15th, and an exam on the 16th...then, I'm finished for the semester.  I'm anticipating all A's...perhaps a high B in Italian.  (Learning a language is tough!!)

We finished up our Christmas cards yesterday.  I'm going to pick up stamps today and then they'll go out tomorrow.  I'm so excited!  I love sending Christmas cards because it's like letting the people in my life know that I appreciate and love them.

Well, D's up and the silence is broken by the news on the television.  It's time to start moving.  Maybe I'll do some yoga this morning...Namaste.

Damn, It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta...

It's nearly christmas.  Which means it's nearly my birthday!!  I'm turning 31...so I'm going to have a 13th birthday party.  I want the perfect birthday that my inner 13 yr old would want.  Right now, I'm thinking mall...eating at the food court...window shopping...and Nordstrom's makeup counter.  Everything that would satisfy my inner 13 yr old. 

I get pretty stoked about my birthday.  It's like a holiday in my  honor.  Everyone is celebrating ME for one day.  It's like I'm famous!  It's gonna be a good day...

The Day Is Dreary And So Am I...

It strikes me as funny that 3 days prior to Thanksgiving, I have the windows open.  The computer tells me it's 66 degrees and the clouds are unbleached cotton.  The sky looks as if it could open up and begin drizzling at any moment.  I've waited for hours to hear a clap of thunder or see a bright jagged line of lightening crisscross the sky as promised by the morning news.  I think it's time to give up.

Inspired By Maxine...

When did 23 turn into 30? Growing up, filling out. A well-rounded individual, I am not. I still pine for self-assurance and sometimes even self-confidence. (Although, that part is slowly growing and it's all thanks to the mantra: "I'm fierce".) Clothing changed; I now wear hats far more often and am never far from a sweater. I spent the summer with bare arms for the first time in my life.

When the wind blows my back aches and I hug myself to keep warm. Ibuprofen is never far from my arthritic hands and the pharmacy has begun putting easy-open lids on my myriad of pills. I do yoga to keep me limber and follow it with coffee and conversation with a trusted friend to keep me going.

My body has aged but my spirit is still lagging behind in my mid-twenties. At 30, I pierced my nose, moved to the city, and went back to college. Being surrounded by youngsters is keeping me fresh. (Did I really just refer to them as youngsters?) I pore over textbooks and write papers that deserve and receive the coveted A's that will take me into Grad school and deliver me as faculty someday. At 30 I am racking up school loans that will take the rest of my days to pay off. I'm okay with that.

I deleted those who kept me down and whose drama I let spill into my life. I now spend my precious time with friends who support me like a good bra (which we all know is hard to find) and help me grow into the woman I'm becoming.

By 31, I'll be married to my best friend. I make adult decisions and opened a savings account. I stopped procrastinating and learned that I love lists. I have a love/hate relationship with my daily planner because I find myself forgetting things with a bit more ease.

At 30, I still don't have it all figured out. I'll let you know what 40 brings.

Uprooted…

I'm melancholy today. Thinking on my life and measuring how far I've come; I feel a sadness for those I've left behind. Yet, I know they were left behind for good reasons, be they public or private. Sometimes I find it hard to let go, although I know I'm letting go for my own sake and sanity.

I've turned to a new chapter in the book of my life. I'm happy. Finally. I've let go of those few people who let their drama bleed into my life. I'm making decisions that are beneficial to my well-being. I may be growing up and branching out; although I would not compare myself to a tree. I don't hold those deep roots full of the past.